The Men on Facebook Have Ruined Everything

She Rocks!

Facebook is the source of all evil.

I was a late-comer to Facebook. I resisted the need to connect with strangers and friends, probably because I spent most of my day socializing via the internet and face-to-face while touring thanks to my life of rock and roll. Now I can’t imagine a world without it. Not that I would die without, but I do use it a lot – to talk to friends across the globe, to learn and be a part of the discussions in my industry, and to have a bit of fun. I try to follow as many locals as possible so I can keep my finger on the pulse of my adopted hometown. I learn a lot from Facebook and I definitely am not what you might call a “hater.”

There is something that bothers me about Facebook though. See, because I follow a lot of random people, I follow a lot of people I don’t actually know. My reasons for following these strangers varies; I think they’re funny, they work in real estate, they are what I consider to be “thought-leaders,” and yes I admit it, sometimes just because they’re a cute girl.

Yeah, I admit it. Sometimes I, as a male, find myself enthralled by the beauty of a complete stranger. Maybe the allure is that I don’t know them, maybe I hope they’ll see my status updates and fall madly in love, or maybe I’m just like every other guy on this planet and I like to look at girls I find attractive. Regardless of the reason, I do it.

Watching the feeds of these women, I’ve noticed an alarming trend. It’s not just confined to the Miley Cyrus set either. Guys become complete, drooling douchebags online. The comments I read make me physically ill at times. This from a guy who laughed and had a hand in songs like “Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny” and “Yummy Down on This.” Believe me, I’m not about to go all PC on everyone here. I still laugh at crass jokes and am certainly not a model-citizen when it comes to having angelic thoughts.

In fact, it’s not even the comments themselves that bother me. I’ll leave that indignation to the ladies they’re directed at. No, what bothers me is what those comments create. See, for every lewd comment on Facebook, there’s a nice comment that might be innocent, but will come off all wrong when sandwiched between “nice boobs” and “can I get some?”

When someone posts a photo on Facebook or posts something personal, they’re not trying to be private about it. If they were, they would a) not post it or b) learn how to use lists to be sure the right people were getting the message. We have become ever more open – even while we go on and on about our privacy rights – we are constantly giving the world (strangers included) unfettered access to thoughts and images our grandparents would have taken to their graves. I don’t have a problem with this; I lived 14 years of my life in a very public light, so I’m kind of used to it.

So when a female stranger that I know through digital means only posts a photo or the latest story of their man problems, I sometimes want to comment. I try to keep the XXX thoughts and comments to myself, but sometimes I just want to say “wow, you look amazing in this photo” or “don’t worry, there are plenty of guys out there that would treat you right.” Instead, I usually keep my mouth shut, because all the comments before me come off like a bunch of drooling 5th graders seeing their first Playboy magazine. A man’s ability to pay a woman a true, honest compliment without any ulterior motives has been weakened by Facebook comments past. Girls don’t trust us. They “see through our bullshit compliments” and only hear “can I get in your pants?” I don’t blame them and I’ve seen more than one girl lament about this publicly on her Facebook wall. Sadly, although I’m sure I wouldn’t mind the experience, that’s usually not what I’m after. Sometimes I want nothing more than to be a nice guy and say something that might make a stranger smile or feel better about their day. Sometimes I want to share my experiences that might apply to their troubles so that they know things will get better. Sometimes it doesn’t matter if they’re a complete stranger or not, because let’s face it, the internet has made us all a little closer, even if we don’t want to be.

And yes, sometimes I just want to say “nice boobs.

image courtesy of FALH / Linh

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  1. says

    I believe they’re called creepers…and many of them behave that way in real life. To be fair, social media isn’t helping in the regard. But most women love the attention it seems, so they will keep instigating such comments…until a creeper turns into a stalker, and a stalker turns into an assailant. If women really didn’t like the cat-calling, and creepy drooling, they wouldn’t post themselves scantly clad on the internet.

    • rerockstar says

      I don’t see as much of them in real life, but of course, I’m not a girl. I do know they exist. I’m not mad at women for wanting the attention though – we all crave a bit of attention (even if it’s the wrong kind) from time to time. I just hate that I wind up feeling like a creeper when in reality I’m just trying to say something nice.

  2. says

    Me too…to most of the above but I am disturbed by the fact that my first Playboy, stolen from an outdoor rack at a local drive-in did not happen until the 6th grade for me! You kids have it so much better…

  3. Dave733 says

    Hey Matt,

    Very well-written blog. I know exactly what you’re saying. I avoided getting on MySpace for the longest. Then I finally caved. Then MySpace finally caved (and became an f’n twitter feed). So I finally signed up for Facebook. I initially did it so I could get updates on bands on tours and new releases — because, face it, doesn’t provide any of that anymore. And then I started following pro wrestling pages and connecting with some of the wrestlers I used to watch on TV back in the day.
    But along with the good came the bad. It took me a while to navigate to the legit pages and avoid the fake ones. And then there are the disrespectful comments on girls’ pages. If you post something positive, you either look like the 20 douchebags who posted sappy comments that made you want to vomit already — or you get called a White Knight. That term is right up there with the “Don’t Snitch” movement. OK, so if I’m a White Knight, does that make the guy calling me that a Dark Asshole? I suppose so.
    Lots of times, I read the comments on these types of photos and pages, and I don’t even bother commenting because I’d rather not be associated with the other people who already acted like assholes or like ass kissers.
    I look forward to your next blog, which might well be shorter than my first comment!

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